Heart Attraction
by Martha Krienke
Picture this: The Festival Con Dios 2002 tour is in full swing. Toby Mac is rockin’ out the stage with his song "Get This Party Started." The smell of hot, buttered popcorn wafts through the auditorium. Jeremy Camp, brand new to the music industry, is sitting at his merchandise table with a black Sharpie in hand. Next table over, The Benjamin Gate is selling its CD's, T-shirts and posters. Between signing autographs and greeting fans, Jeremy and Benjamin Gate’s lead singer, Adie Liesching, lock eyes and immediately fall in love.
Well . . . maybe not exactly.
Adie and Jeremy were merch-table neighbors back in 2002. It’s just that their love story didn’t begin at first sight.
First Impressions
"It was my first tour. I met everybody—Adie just happened to be in one of the bands," Jeremy says. "When I first saw her, I thought, She’s more of a punk chick. I saw her [perform] live, and she was jumping around and going crazy. When I talked to her afterward, she was sweet and very gentle."
Adie remembers thinking the same thing: Jeremy is a nice guy but not anyone I’ve ever pictured myself with.
"I love artsy things and being creative, and at the time I imagined myself being with someone like that," she says.. "Jeremy is exceptionally creative, but his personality is more like a sports guy than like an artsy person."
Jeremy and Adie say they weren’t looking for a romantic relationship, but the thing that stood out was each other’s heart for the Lord.
"As we got talking, we became really good friends," Adie says. "About a month into the tour, after hanging out every day, I was thinking, Oh, I like this guy!"
By this time, a year and a half had passed since Jeremy’s first wife, Melissa, had died of cancer.
"I was feeling guilty and freaked out [about pursuing a relationship with Adie]," Jeremy says. "But God said, ‘I’m blessing you with something. Receive the blessing I’m giving you.’ "
Later, Jeremy got nervous again and made plans to take Adie out and tell her they shouldn’t pursue this relationship.
"We were sitting down in a restaurant; I looked at her, but the first thing that popped out was, ‘Do you feel like you could marry me?’ Right away she said, ‘Yeah.’ We looked at each other in shock. It was the most bizarre thing, but I think because of what I had been through, I didn’t have time to play games."
Say Yes
To close Gospel Music Association (GMA) Week in Nashville in 2003, Jeremy and Adie were about to attend the annual Dove Awards ceremony. The Benjamin Gate had been nominated, but Adie didn’t want to go because she figured they wouldn’t win an award anyway. Jeremy invited Adie to dinner instead. She dressed up despite the change of events, and in the meantime, Jeremy had planned a special dinner at a small restaurant.
Adie and Jeremy were seated at a table near a little bay window, and they could see only one other couple in the restaurant.
"We were talking about what God had been doing in our hearts and sharing that with people the whole week at GMA. We were chatting, and [Jeremy] didn’t say much," Adie remembers. "At the end of the evening, he started messing with a CD player. I told him, ‘Don’t worry about it. We can tell the [wait staff] someone left it here by accident.’ Then a minute later, he was still messing with it, so I finally said, ‘What are you doing?’ "
The waitress then brought to the table two tiny take-out boxes. Jeremy was so nervous and giddy, Adie says, that he ripped open her box and held out a ring. He had pushed play on the CD player, and music was playing while he proposed.
"It was very sweet," Adie says.
Next Chapter
The two got married a little bit after The Benjamin Gate played their last tour together in 2003. Some speculate that Jeremy broke up the band, but Adie says there’s not true.
"I think we [The Benjamin Gate] drove ourselves into the ground. We worked so hard and lacked a lot of spiritual accountability. After a while, so much sacrifice, when it’s for music and not for some sort of ministry, wasn’t worth it for me."
Adie didn’t have plans for her music career after that.
"I was just so happy. I knew I was where God wanted me to be, so I was content to just be a wife, and at that time I was hoping to be a mom, which I am now," she says.
In their first years of marriage, Adie sang background vocals in some of Jeremy’s songs and was content supporting him in his ministry. However, the idea to make her first solo album swirled in her mind. At first she kept it a secret, but then one day Jeremy came to her and said, "Why don’t you make a solo album? That would be awesome. I’ll help you."
Adie was thrilled, but she decided if she was going to do this, her project would be completely different from the alternative, aggressive style of The Benjamin Gate. Adie wanted to make an album that was worshipful, mellow, relaxing, easy to listen to and fun.
"I’m in the place where music doesn’t have to be my career, so I can experiment with different styles and do different types of music," she says. Jeremy and she began songwriting together, and he also produced a couple of the tracks. The finished result,Don’t Wait, was released in September 2006..
In the meantime, in late spring of 2006, Jeremy began to work on his latest project,Beyond Measure. He went to Adie for her ideas, but he did all the songwriting himself.
"I would ask Adie, ‘What do you think about this,’ and she would give me her opinion. But my songs are like my babies. I sit down [to write], and it’s me and the Lord."
Above and Beyond
Jeremy says listening to his new album will tell you exactly what God has been teaching Him.
"When I was writing for this record, I went to the studio at my house and prayed, ‘Lord, give me songs that touch the hearts of people and connect with people.’ But God spoke to my heart right away and said, ‘Jeremy, I want you to write songs that touch My heart. I’ll take care of the rest.’ That was so freeing," Jeremy says, "because I didn’t have this weight on my shoulder to make sure people got it."
Jeremy wrote the title track, "Beyond Measure," after being interviewed about his first wife, Melissa.
"I told them that before she died she said, ‘If I were to die from cancer and one person was to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior [as a result], it would all be worth it.’ A fog cleared in my mind. It was hard to finish the interview because God was speaking to my heart. Look at all the people whose lives have been touched through my sharing her testimony and what I had been through. It blew me away."
Adie has also felt abundantly blessed to be a wife, to raise two young daughters with Jeremy and to sing again.
"I don’t think Jeremy ever thought he’d get married again, but obviously, he has. I know I’ve been a real blessing to him, and it’s been awesome to see how Christ has restored his heart," she says. "If you know anything about Jeremy’s first wife, she was absolutely beautiful and such a beautiful woman of God. She loved the Lord with all of her heart and was such an incredible example to anybody. To be following up after that, it’s like, ‘Lord, are You serious?’ It’s not intimidating; it’s very humbling.."
Adie’s Don’t Wait is also about her relationship with God and what she’s experienced with Him.
"God has given us so much in abundance, of stuff we don’t deserve—the blessing of Jeremy and our girls. He restores you, heals your hurts. It’s amazing what spending time with the Lord does to your heart."
In December 2006, Adie and Jeremy celebrated their third wedding anniversary.
He Could Be All Right by Arleen Spenceley He could be all right, I remember thinking to myself when, from a distance, I saw him for the first time. By all right, I meant amazing, and I couldn't wait to meet him. When we did meet, I immediately loved his apparent faith in Christ, adored his unkempt, rock-star-like appearance and fell head over feet for his first-rate charm. Ready for my first real relationship, I disregarded the virtue of patience and began to hope for something more than friendship. I'd hoped, and sometimes believed, that I'd found my perfect match. And within a few fast-moving weeks, I comfortably came to the conclusion that it felt like I’d known him for years. In fact, I felt closer to him than I felt to any of my closest friends with a confidence that shouldn't have come so quickly. I liked him until I really liked him. I really liked him until I really, really liked him. And I really, really liked him—until he stopped talking to me.
A New AngleA few magnificent months came and went, and at the end, I sat alone, nursing an unexpectedly broken heart returned by a boy who had taken off for good. My mind replayed every memory every day like the scenes from a scintillating movie ruined by a horrible ending.
What happened? I wondered. What are You trying to tell me? I prayed. And from a horrible ending, God taught me a great, and much-needed, lesson, a lesson we all need to learn.
Healing after a relationship ends can be a rough road. For a while, your mind will continue to replay the relationship over and over, just as mine did. But if you let Him, God can show you each scene from a brand-new angle. And in my case, through God's lens, the once-alluring boy didn't seem so admirable. Why couldn't I see these things, Lord, before becoming so close to him? I prayed for understanding and reached for my Bible.
I took a look at Song of Solomon. More than once, most notably in chapter 8, I found the following phrase: "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Could I have jumped into this relationship too quickly? And the more I pondered the possibility, the more clarity I found.
Practicing PatienceAttraction naturally tempts us to expose even our deepest feelings to the object of our affection, and being emotionally vulnerable with anyone can create a hopelessly strong attachment—the sort of attachment that blinds us to traits that we'd otherwise find unpleasant.
It's important to be sure that pursuing something more than friendship with a guy is a good idea before jumping at the chance. And sifting through his manners and habits before becoming emotionally intimate is a good way to approach surety about the guys who catch our eyes.
Sharing emotions before we know that we should could set off love’s alarm clock long before love should be awakened. I learned this lesson the tough way: there’s absolutely nothing wrong with fostering a friendship first, even if you find someone exceptionally enthralling. Practicing the patience I'd disregarded will help you spend some important time getting to know guys simply as friends. You'll be more likely to walk away with needed knowledge and genuine friendships rather than a series of sappy daydreams, and his habits—good and bad—won't go unnoticed.
If love didn't desire to arise now, when will it wake up? I recall wondering, disheartened, before realizing the importance of patience. If, as I did, you happen to find that a once special someone isn't as enthralling as you'd hoped, don't be discouraged. Be patient.
